Help, I’m bleeding out! Careless talk.

Ever have someone scare you? Getting my hair cut on Saturday and Niki, my barber, was all done. Just brushing my neck off when I heard her gasp and say, “Oh, NO!”  What’s wrong! What happened?”, I say…all she said was, “Whoa…WHAT’S UP with your eyebrows?! They need some serious trimming.”…THAT’S IT? MY EYEBROWS…That’s not worth a sudden intake of air and a fear filled, “Oh, No!” I thought she’d skimmed the back of my head and I was bleeding out. When you have sharp objects around my body watch what you say!

Speaking of bleeding out, I almost did!  Yesterday I  had a mole removed from my back (I know TMI…but do yourself a favor if you have moles get them checked regularly to ensure they’re not cancerous) this one wasn’t evil, but the doc thought it needed carved out of my back…Yeah, carved is the right word. Numbed up the whole area and cut a small shoulder roast out of me. Then as she’s using some kind of electric pen to cauterize the wound…she say, “What it world is going on?“…Hello! I’m laying face down with a bloody hole in my back…you made me sign a form listing all the things that could go wrong…scaring, irreparable nerve damage, even death…and you’re saying, “What in the world is going on?”  THIS IS NOT COMFORTING…it’s one thing when my barber says, “oops”…it’s another when the doctor who’s just cut a hole in my body and is sticking a hot iron in it to cauterize it says, “Oops”……So in the calmest voice I can conjure up I say, “Can I ask what’s up?”, “Yeah, you’re a bleeder”, she says. “It’s not wanting to stop bleeding.” GREAT, “Do your best”, I say.  After a few more minutes she says…”That should do it”…”SHOULD? Did you just say SHOULD? So at 10 o’clock tonight, I SHOULDN’T be sitting in my lazy boy bleeding out?”…”Yep, but if you do… go to the emergency room. I want you back in two weeks to take the stitches out and three months for a follow up visit.”…I’ll be there unless you find me lifeless in my favorite lazy-boy…